The devastating final words of Robin Windsor have been revealed in full, as an inquest heard how being dropped from Strictly Come Dancing left the professional dancer feeling “destroyed” — a pain he said set him on a path he never escaped.
Robin, who died aged 44 in February 2024, left two handwritten notes near his body, an inquest at West London Coroner’s Court was told. In them, he described the emotional toll of losing his role on the BBC show in 2015 and the loneliness and sadness that followed.
‘It Started Me on the Road I’m Still On’
In one letter addressed to a close friend, Robin wrote:
“This all really started when I lost my job on Strictly and have been fighting it ever since. The way they treated me destroyed me. It started me on the road I’m still on.”
He continued with heartbreaking honesty:
“All I wanted from life was to be happy. I loved my job more than anyone else.”
The note went on to describe a life overshadowed by pain:
“The heartache, the loneliness, the constant sadness. I just live permanently in a dark place. I can’t live like this anymore. It’s just too painful.”
Robin concluded:
“I’ve done some incredible things in my 44 years and had an unreal life doing what I loved — but all things must come to an end and my curtain has come down for the final time.”
A second note, addressed to his ex-partner Ollie Augustin, stressed:
“I need you to understand that this is not your fault.”
Found in a Hotel Room
Robin was found face down on a bed at The Hoxton hotel in Shepherd’s Bush, West London, on February 19, 2024, after failing to check out. A receptionist raised the alarm.
Police and paramedics attended, but he was pronounced dead at the scene. A post-mortem examination concluded he most likely died following an overdose of drugs and alcohol.
PC Emily Hampson told the court she discovered the two notes near Robin’s body.
‘A Very Lonely Space’
At the inquest, Robin’s former Strictly co-star Kristina Rihanoff broke down in tears as she described how he “changed significantly” after suffering a serious back injury in late 2013.
The injury required surgery to remove a disc and forced him to miss the 2014 series. The following year, his contract was not renewed.
Kristina told the hearing:
“The psychological impact was very severe. He couldn’t do what he loved. Strictly can be a very lonely space with not much support.”
She said it was “heartbreaking” to see him become “deeply sad, subdued and burdened.”
‘The Day He Was Dropped Broke His Spirit’
Robin’s aunt, Alison Barlow, told jurors her nephew “lived for dancing, breathed it, slept it.”
“Being called for Strictly is every professional dancer’s dream,” she said. “I honestly believe that when he was told he wasn’t required again, that was the start of Robin’s decline.”
Former partner Marcus Collins also described a sharp deterioration in Robin’s mental health after the axe, saying:
“The day he was informed he was no longer required really broke his spirit.”
BBC Response and Behind-the-Scenes Decisions
Retired Strictly executive producer Louise Rainbow told the court that three dancers, including Robin, were dropped ahead of the 2015 series as part of a planned refresh of the line-up.
She said she broke the news to Robin, describing him as “very disappointed” but added that his reaction did not initially raise concerns.
She offered him work on the Christmas special and spin-off It Takes Two, which he accepted, and described him as “a joy to work with” and “a lovely man.”
‘His Glow Had Gone’
Further evidence came from actress Lisa Riley, who danced with Robin on Strictly in 2012. In a written statement, she said:
“From the moment he was dropped, he kept slipping deeper and deeper into depression. His glow had gone.”
Riley spoke of his insecurities, money troubles, and struggles with self-worth, adding that he often felt “never good enough” and suffered from imposter syndrome.
Lifelong Struggles
The court also heard Robin had battled mental health issues since childhood and was struggling with the breakdown of his relationship with Ollie at the time of his death. Friends said he was “obsessed” with watching Strictly in the months before he died, missing the show deeply.
The inquest continues.
If You Need Help
If you or someone you know is affected by issues raised in this article, support is available:
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Samaritans (UK & ROI): 116 123
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Mind: 0300 123 3393
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CALM: 0800 585 858
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Papyrus (under 35s): 0800 068 41 41
You are not alone.
